Friday, April 11, 2008

Rough Draft #2

The Rickety Old Bridge
When looking donwards, one could only see the past of a great adventure. What I saw, was a future of meaning. Traveling is one thing that my family is known for. We are always somewhere in the sumer and I know that I am lucky. About four years ago, (the summer of 2004) I realized that there is more to the world than meets the eye. I decided this when crossing an old train bridge that conjoined the boarder line between Costa Rica and Panama.

It was about 11 am and waking up to the sound of a squawking bird, I remember what had lay behind us, the six hour bus ride holding the maximum 25 passengers including the frantic chicken who had just woke me up. "Here we are, the boarder. You will be guided across the bridge and will then, be picked up on the other side by another bus," the bus driver said in a hurrying tone as we came to a stop at the misplaced boarder which had looked as if it was used as a bomb target. Guided, I thought, what is it about that word that just seems awkward in that sentence? I mean if it was the old nun that seemed to have third degree sunburns on her face that that bus driver was talking about then I sure hope that he was mistaken. For this was not an ordinary bridge, what I was standing on looked like two by fours on top of steel bars, trying to create some what of a path. I knew that this kind of experience was one to thank my mom for.

At this point, my brain just shut off. All of the thoughts just drained out except for one thing about the reason why I was here. Lost. Misplaced maybe. I remember that long and miserable bridge, the one across the alligator infested, frigid water which seemed to get more familiar by the minute. It was not until the middle of this adventure when I looked down and realized that the figures, (100 feet below us) were actually people.

As I stepped off of the bridge, I looked back, amazed to see what we had accomplished. However, I was later implied that this journey was not over yet. When we entered the office to get stamps in our passports, we were told that my cousin's passport had not been stamped in Costa Rica so she and my mom had to go back over the bridge and receive her passport from my uncle who had her diplomatic passport which she used when she got to Costa Rica. This meant that we were to be left in this run down border shack. We were in limbo, out of Costa Rica and not in Panama.

Sure enough, my uncle had simply handed us the wrong passport so he only had to give us the other one but if you know my uncle, you know that sometimes things go wrong. We were told that the reason we were there for an hour alone was because he accidentally misplaced it. Soon enough it was getting dark. I remember that feeling of isolation, not knowing whether or not to speak for comfort, or stay cool and keep my mouth shut. Finally, my mom came back, bringing with her a sense of relief. We were soon at my mom's friend's house after taking two buses and a taxi. Finally, we're home.

Obviously, third world countries can be quite confusing as you can see, not everyone has it as easy as we do. For after my experience, I have learned to to be grateful for what I have. Sometimes, I look at a normal train bridge and think of it more as a gift than something you take for granite. So overall, memories are in peoples' hearts take this adventure for instance, the one true thing that makes it have so much value is that it was something that no one else has had because I did it. That is what is so special about memories, there is only one of them.

7 comments:

Carly A. said...

That is a good memoir but the title should be a bit more broad

Samantha L's Humanities Blog said...

This was very well written Hunter, your tone of voice is very well crafted. I can tell you put a lot of thought into this piece of writing. You may want to consider elaborating a little more on how you crossed the bridge. I really liked the content, it was well written and unique. You did a wonderful job!

Anonymous said...

Great work, Hunter! You could even add expand on the bus ride part of the story to make it resemble the epic journey that it was.
I'm proud of you!
Love, Dad

Tori L. said...

This was very well worded and you tone is nice and flowing. The one thing I have to add is that you might want to elaborate on the part where you cross the bridge. I can tell you put a lot of effort into this and other than what I think you should change you did a great job.

Laura M said...

This was a very well written memoir.I can tell that you put a lot of work and thought into this piece.I think you can elaborate a bit more on when you were crossing the bridge. I love the content and it was really well written. Great Job Hunter! =)

Mr. Talner said...

Aside from the small spelling, grammatical, and run-on sentences this seems well done. What is the hot spot in this piece? I think that you may be trying to cover to much. Do you think you could narrow down the focus?

Jason R said...

this is very well writtin but there is some run-on sentances.
good and positive.
you might want to give more detials on some parts but besides for that it was exellent